Looking Back

I was free this morning which is nice considering I worked a 16 hour day yesterday.
I used my free time to read this entire blog, from the most recent entry to the oldest entry. It really is amazing to me to see where I have come from, where I am now and the path that has lead me here. And I enjoyed listening to the music, the soundtrack of my life at those particular times. Some entries I would have sworn I wrote last week but they are from a long time ago, and others seem like a life time ago but are much more recent. I know I've said it many times before but it blows my mind how different my life is now compared to my life before I started this blog.

There was one post that seemed to jump off the screen at me. It was a prayer. I pray random things all the time, and although I like to think I am always praying with expectation, sometimes I don't count on my prayers being answered. Here's something I prayed a little over a year ago.

Lord, You are good.  Thank You.

I am confused, as usual, but You know that.  Lord, life is swirling around so fast I feel like I can't keep up.  At least not under my own power.  Help me.  That seems to be my prayer more often than not.  I am thankful that You have a plan for me.  Please lead me and direct me.  Show me where You want me and what You want me to do with my life.  Please help me understand.

I'm looking for something definitive.  I trust You.  My heart is yours first and foremost.  All that it is belongs to You.

Please place me where my life, my skills, my gifts and abilities are needed.
Please increase my passion.
Please increase my faith.
Please increase my ability to care.
Please show me what it means to be a friend and help me be a friend to those in need.
Please continue to surround me with friends who can support me.
Please help me be a support to others.

And God, the unsaid prayers I have in my head, please do what You need to do. 
Ah, life, greater and more confusing than ever.

Thank You that this journey is just beginning, not ending.  I am excited, and nervous, and just a little fearful as your will unfolds in my life.  I am scared that your plans are not my plans, but I will take your plans over mine any day.  Please reveal your plans to me.  Please lead me. 

Please help me understand what an abundant life really looks like.  Please help me receive it and live it and give it. 

I am amazed by the answers to prayer I have received over the last year. I am humbled by my own  words. I pray that this is still the prayer of my heart.