Monday, November 8, 2010

Week In Review

Dear Diary,

I believe the cardinal rule of blogging is to keep entries concise. I've probably broken that rule a couple times already. This entry will definitely break that rule again.

I had an amazing week. I am so tired. Remember, an extrovert draws energy from being around people while an introvert exerts energy being around people? Well, I was around a lot of people this week and I am tired. That's not to say I didn't like being around all these great people. I did. It's just now I have to recharge my batteries for the next round.

Monday night I went to a jewelry party.  I was the only guy among 25 women.  It was... interesting, but good.  You can find out more about it at Night Light International.  The whole purpose is to generate awareness and earn money for an industry aimed at helping women and girls escape the sex trade industry in Thailand.  Please visit the site and do what you can.

Wednesday night was our final book study. We kinda went off on a tangent and didn't focus on the book so much but more on the things people are going through in their lives. It was good. It was really good.  When I started attending this book study a month or so ago, I was with a group of strangers. When we ended on Wednesday I was with friends. The seeds of genuine friendship were planted. I pray that they grow into something special. It is not often that this happens in my life.

I also had the option of a one on one music practice for worship that night but I declined. I'm not the greatest musician but I didn't really need the extra practice. This week I have been focusing on genuinely getting to know people and if I called the extra practice it would have been with the ulterior motive of getting to know that person, not to really practice. I didn't want to take advantage of worship just to hang out with someone.

Thursday was also great, and somewhat scary for me. I went to a totally new College and Career group. But first I had to work. I didn't finish until 7:15pm and they meet at 7:30pm.  My brain was fighting me on this one.
You're going to be late.  Maybe you shouldn't go.
I went anyway.  I was only a minute or two late and people were still arriving.
I was expecting 20 to 30 people.  There were 50 cars in the parking lot.
There's too many people.  You'll get lost in the crowd.  You won't meet anyone.  This isn't  a good idea.
I parked and went inside any way.  There were about 100 people there.
Wow!  There's even more people here than you thought.  If you turned around right now no one would notice. It's not too late.
I stayed.  I went up to the first group of people I saw and introduced myself.  They were great.  They smiled. They talked with me.  They introduced themselves.  I know this sounds sad but I was expecting to be ignored or rejected or something like that.  This was one of those times I had to work at not letting old thoughts from my previous life come back.  Some day, I pray, I will be more confident and better adjusted.  I'm getting there.  Thursday was a good step in that direction.  Several really great things happened that night.  I met CI.  I've been chatting with him online and talked with him once on the phone over the last week as I was looking into C&C groups in the city.  He is recovering from surgery and I didn't think he'd be there, but he was.  It felt good to chat in person.  CI is the guy I was planning to meet for "coffee" on Friday.  And I ran into AS.  AS is the person who wrote the note I quoted in an earlier post and the person who was leading worship on Sunday.  We talked a bit.  It was good.  And I had a chance to have a substantial talk with another person at the group who I just met.  Things turned out really great.  Sometimes I regret missing out on these opportunities years ago when I was in my self imposed isolation, but more overpowering is the feeling of gratitude I have for the opportunity to experience them now.  It really is hard for me to put into words how good this night was for me.  And of course, we sung How Deep the Father's Love.  Yep, I got a little teary eyed.  It feels like this song is stalking me, in a good way.

On Friday morning I went to the 7am prayer meeting.  It was just me and two other guys.  It's difficult for me to explain what this time meant to me.  I have said previously I find it easier to relate to females than males.  Part of that is simply because my dad was not around  a lot growing up.  Don't think poorly of him.  I will write another entry explaining my relationship with my dad.  However, even to this day, I feel somewhat awkward hanging around with guys/men simply because I did not really do that during my developmental years with anyone.  Anyway, it was a new experience for me praying with other men, and ya, we had a box of kleenex handy.  It was required.

After our time of prayer I hung around the church practicing for worship on stage, playing my guitar and the church's piano.  It's been a long time since I've done anything like that.  It truly was a time of worship for me.

At 10am I went and visited with CI at his place.  He is such a great guy.  We chatted about superficial stuff and deep stuff and home repairs.  Somehow, it was just what I needed.

I mentioned that I am somewhat uncomfortable hanging out with "the guys" and yet this day was all about me hanging out with "the guys" and it was good.  Godly guys are good.  Maybe this whole day was a divine appointment, a day of God's purpose.

And finally Sunday arrived.  We met at the church to practice at 8:30am.  I had the opportunity to chat with RS and LN.  It's funny because we've seen each other around the church for a long time, but have never actually talked.  And it was good.  They are great people.  I can't believe I've deprived myself of knowing them for so long just by being somewhat shy.  Practice was good.  Church was good.  Worship was good. I only teared up once and I doubt anyone noticed.  After the service I talked with AS and CS and RH and a lot of other people and it was all good.  Once again, I find it hard to put into words how special it was for me to help with the worship team.  It meant more to me than I think anyone is really aware.  I may do a separate post on that some day.

So, to sum up the last 8 or 9 days... It was good.

-Clinton

No comments: